Joy To The World...?

“Try to exclude the possibility of suffering which the order of nature and the existence of free-wills involve, and you find that you have excluded life itself”

― C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain

Recently in church a young girl showed up proudly with her violin upon which she had been taking lessons a mere 2 months. The night before she had practiced and was desirous of standing before the church and playing, ‘Joy to the World’. I’m a sucker for anything a child asks to do in church in order to participate in worship. Plus, I love her grandparents and to object would be in the category of the disciples telling Jesus to send the little children away. In light of the recent tragedy (even the word ‘tragedy’ is anemic compared to the horror we have all witnessed and felt) the child, of course, could play.

Parker stood on the stage and without accompaniment played ‘Joy To The World’. It was actually quite good considering the difficulty of that instrument, her lack of experience and the limited time she had to work on the piece. The tune was unmistakably there. So were the miss-notes, the scratching, the halting bow stokes and hesitations. But the tune was there nonetheless and I was proud of her.

As I sat and listened I realized how much her playing matched my mood, my life and my present condition before God. In the pressures of ministry, the clamor of so many with unmet needs, the trivial ‘hurts’ we react to which are inflicted by others, I can barely make out the Joy that is supposed to be mine. Stir it up with the tragedies and the gut wrenching grief I can barely make out even the presence of God, but when I listen, in spite of it all, yes I can hear Him clearly. He is still present in my pain.

Yes, I can hear ‘Joy To The World’, it’s clarion call undeniably there even in the midst of the missed notes of life. The presence of God and His purposes in my life may lie, at the moment, just beyond the grasp of my consciousness but there nonetheless. I can hear its tune carried through the scratchings of the inevitable (if unexplainable) troubles and tribulations of life. The missed notes, the uneven tempo and even the halting interlude does not drown it out. It is there, a joy that at times I grasp and at others seems beyond my greatest leap. But, the clarity of the notes, even if rare, provide a peace from God that says, ‘It is still, well with my soul’.

I know that I have at once attained and am still striving forth. I am His. I know God made me not to love Him (although the ability to love Him is a wonder) but rather He made me so that He could love me. This infinite love breaking through the terrible missteps of life gives meaning to this moment.

And in some strange way, Lewis is right. The inevitable suffering caused by the gift of free-will is a part of it all. As long as I can still make out the tune in the midst of its heartbreak, it is well with my soul.

“Joy to the World”. It is there. The evil has not been successful in masking the truth completely. The light still shines in the darkness and the darkness cannot and has not extinguished it yet.

Today, I have God. Tomorrow will be the same. That is simply enough.

Advent. God With Us.

- Brian