“Try to exclude the possibility of suffering which the order
of nature and the existence of free-wills involve, and you find that you have
excluded life itself”
― C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain
Recently in church a young girl showed up proudly with her violin
upon which she had been taking lessons a mere 2 months. The night before she
had practiced and was desirous of standing before the church and playing, ‘Joy
to the World’. I’m a sucker for anything a child asks to do in church in order
to participate in worship. Plus, I love her grandparents and to object would be
in the category of the disciples telling Jesus to send the little children
away. In light of the recent tragedy (even the word ‘tragedy’ is anemic
compared to the horror we have all witnessed and felt) the child, of course,
could play.
Parker stood on the stage and without accompaniment played
‘Joy To The World’. It was actually quite good considering the difficulty of
that instrument, her lack of experience and the limited time she had to work on
the piece. The tune was unmistakably there. So were the miss-notes, the
scratching, the halting bow stokes and hesitations. But the tune was there
nonetheless and I was proud of her.
As I sat and listened I realized how much her playing
matched my mood, my life and my present condition before God. In the pressures
of ministry, the clamor of so many with unmet needs, the trivial ‘hurts’ we
react to which are inflicted by others, I can barely make out the Joy that is
supposed to be mine. Stir it up with the tragedies and the gut wrenching grief
I can barely make out even the presence of God, but when I listen, in spite of
it all, yes I can hear Him clearly. He is still present in my pain.
Yes, I can hear ‘Joy To The World’, it’s clarion call
undeniably there even in the midst of the missed notes of life. The presence of
God and His purposes in my life may lie, at the moment, just beyond the grasp
of my consciousness but there nonetheless. I can hear its tune carried through
the scratchings of the inevitable (if unexplainable) troubles and tribulations
of life. The missed notes, the uneven tempo and even the halting interlude does
not drown it out. It is there, a joy that at times I grasp and at others seems
beyond my greatest leap. But, the clarity of the notes, even if rare, provide a
peace from God that says, ‘It is still, well with my soul’.
I know that I have at once attained and am still striving
forth. I am His. I know God made me not to love Him (although the ability to
love Him is a wonder) but rather He made me so that He could love me. This
infinite love breaking through the terrible missteps of life gives meaning to
this moment.
And in some strange way, Lewis is right. The inevitable
suffering caused by the gift of free-will is a part of it all. As long as I can
still make out the tune in the midst of its heartbreak, it is well with my
soul.
“Joy to the World”. It is there. The evil has not been
successful in masking the truth completely. The light still shines in the
darkness and the darkness cannot and has not extinguished it yet.
Today, I have God. Tomorrow will be the same. That is simply
enough.
Advent. God With Us.
- Brian
- Brian
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